


Are You There (Dead Mom)?

by trixie_moon



Series: HQ Whumptober 2020 [16]
Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Based on a song, Dead Mom - Beetlejuice, Depressed Ennoshita Hayato, Gen, Hurt/No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned Ennoshita Chikara, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei, Mentioned Yamaguchi Tadashi, Past Character Death, Whumptober 2020, day 19 - grief, noragami references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixie_moon/pseuds/trixie_moon
Summary: Hayato talks to his mother. There’s some things that need to be cleared up.whumptober day 19 - grief
Series: HQ Whumptober 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907605
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10
Collections: Creative Chaos Discord Recs, Whumptober 2020





	Are You There (Dead Mom)?

**Author's Note:**

> sowwy for angst

Hayato sighed, sitting down on the snow-covered bench next to a shining black gavestone. “Hey, Momma,” he said softly, tears dripping down his face. “It’s your birthday today.”

Hayato put down a small strawberry shortcake (Momma’s favorite, supplied by Tsukishima-kun’s fathers) in front of the gravestone, which read

_Ennoshita Etsuko_

_1992-2031_

_Loving mother and daughter_

Hayato took a deep sigh, running his fingers through his hair, not sure of what to say or how to even begin. Too many thoughts swirled in the sixteen-year-old’s head and he couldn’t even begin to make heads or tails of what he needed to start with. It was so hard with Momma being gone. She’d been dead already for a year and for every day that passed that Hayato was still unable to move on, he hated himself just a little bit more.

But Momma always gave him a hug. She would always hug him and make him feel better and never ever _ever_ feel bad. She’d take his hands and always had said that it was best to simply start talking. They’d figure out what that meant later, the only important thing to do was simply get all of the words out. 

“I need a little help here, Momma. I-I know I’m probably talking to myself, y-you’re dead and all...b-but I gotta ask if you’re really in the ground? ‘Cause I feel you all around me...so are you here?”

But he received no reply. Of course she wasn’t here. She was dead.

He sniffled, taking a small bite of his cake. “I’m tired of tryin’ to iron out my creases, even if Dad thinks I need therapy. I-I don’t, I just need _you_ Momma. I-I’m just a bunch of broken pieces, it was you that made me whole.”

After all, without Etsuko there, Hayato had no reason to continue playing volleyball. No reason to have fun. And, with Kohaku there, Hayato couldn’t concentrate. He loved Kohaku, but Kohaku didn’t love him, at least not the way that he wanted. He loved Hayato like a friend, a brother. Not like a lover. 

And it was worse because Kohaku was openly bisexual. He could love Hayato the way he wanted, but he didn’t. He loved someone else. But Hayato couldn’t even turn to his best friend for help. Nishinoya Shishio was madly, _madly_ in love with one Tsukishima Tanjirou (the very same one that had offered Hayato this cake). Shishio was, in his own words, a “useless gay”.

It was supposed to make Hayato laugh. He cried instead.

“I-I need help, Momma,” he whispered. “I can’t do this…”

Hayato was alone since his mother died. No one else could relate to him, no matter how kind and sincere they were, or how empathetic. They hadn’t lost a mother like he had. 

“You’re my home, Momma,” said Hayato softly, running his fingers gently over the kanji on his mother’s gravestone. _My destination._ “A-And I’m your clone, your strange creation.”

Hayato laughed wetly. Momma always called him that, with his black hair and strange blue eyes. She said he reminded her of Yato, the character from the manga she loved. He remembered her reading a new chapter of it every night.

She held his hand and life came easy. But since she died, Yato’s jokes didn’t land, often getting him more strange looks than laughs. 

“S-So no one sees me,” confessed Hayato. “Nothing seems to fit…”

He broke down completely, no longer able to speak. But for all the cold around him, he felt warm.

_Momma, i-is this it? Are you receiving?_

Yato wanted, no _needed,_ something to believe in. Or he was completely done. _Just take me where my soul can run._

Or Yato would hide in his bedroom, not waking up for anyone. He was done. Done with volleyball, done with his friends, done with _everything._ “Mama,” he sobbed. “Just send a sign. I’m runnin’ out of hope and time. A-A plague of mice, a lightning strike...just not a nuclear bomb. I-I’m not gonna play their game, I’ll go insane if things don’t change. J-Just please...I want you back Momma. Even if you’re dead.”

And he felt a sign, he could swear for one second that she was speaking to him, her little Yato, her little boy, her little boy that could do anything he set his mind to. He swore he felt her say “You can do it, Yato,”, but he wasn’t sure if it was her voice or just the wind in the trees around the graveyard.

Hayato sighed. “Thank you, Momma,” and left.

**Author's Note:**

> And yes, if you do the math, this happens about 15 years from now. The second years (like Hayato) were born in 2016, third years in 2015, and first years in 2017.


End file.
